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All your questions aboot Canada answered here! :: Archived
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JG300-Ascout
Power User

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Joined: Jan 04, 2005
Posts: 6249
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 8:55 am
Post subject: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

Now that Vancouver has won the chance to host the 2010 "Winter
Olympics", the following are some questions people the world over are
asking!!!!!

These questions about Canada were actually posted on an international
Tourism Website...

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A:! Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the hippo
racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get there and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which is....oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys' Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, right after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, we don't stink. Can you spell 'b-a-t-h' ?

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is
illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying
yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

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"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"


Last edited by JG300-Ascout on Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:34 am; edited 1 time in total
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CrashEd
CrasherMaster

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Joined: Nov 12, 2004
Posts: 450

PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:02 am
Post subject: Re: All your questions about Canada answered here!

LOL!!

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JG300-EXOS
Power User

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Joined: Jan 14, 2005
Posts: 495

PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 9:35 am
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

LMAOROTF

or

ROTFLMAO

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401RCAF_HitMan
Power User

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Joined: Dec 25, 2004
Posts: 1456
Location: Ontario, CANADA (next to the beer store)
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 11:44 am
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

Lol....yep I'm proud to be Canadian...
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JG300-Stoopy
Power User

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Joined: Jan 04, 2005
Posts: 5831
Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 3:13 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

- JG300-Ascout
All your questions aboot Canada answered here!


Funny post....but I think the title cracked me up the most... "aboot".....gawd I'm still chuckling eh!

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JG300-EXOS
Power User

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Posts: 495

PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 6:14 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

We french canadians don't say "aboot", in fact, we don't even speak english... Smile

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JG300-Ascout
Power User

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Posts: 6249
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 6:31 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

Neither do we Americans! Laughing

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JG300-EXOS
Power User

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Posts: 495

PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 6:45 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

eh Mr. Green

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Kitform
Bar Maid

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Joined: Jan 21, 2005
Posts: 2010
Location: Cleveland. UK.
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 8:18 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

- JG300-Ascout
Neither do we Americans! Laughing


And us English people struggle Smile
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Uhu_Fledermaus
Aircraft Demolition Expert

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Joined: Nov 27, 2004
Posts: 4367
Location: Blaricum, The Netherlands ~GMT+1
PostPosted: Sat Apr 02, 2005 10:57 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

excuse moi
Rolling Eyes
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JG300-Hoppa
Power User

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Joined: Jan 09, 2005
Posts: 583
Location: vernon BC
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 1:54 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

funny that noone inquired about our hospitable accomodations eh!, like cmon,,,,,,what if they got here and realized that all of our dwellings are igloos coated in seal blubber,,,,lol,,,,I'm still killin' myself over the horse with horns though,,,,,,and just for a little known fact about our horny horses,,,,,,,come the fall they are the most dangerous creature in the bush,,,a bull moose will kill ya' soon as look at ya'......thats no lie either!!!!!,,,,but they are vegetarians and I think they tend to avoid brainlike matter........but they will still kill ya'...lol

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JG300-EXOS
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Posts: 495

PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 2:36 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

All your igloos are belong to us

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JG300-Stoopy
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Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 2:45 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

EXOS, you ought to post that "Find the Moose" picture you had a year ago or so...it was a classic Canadian bored game, I loved it!

And...pardon my ignorance...but Mooses are really vegetarian? I thought they fed on penguins and such?

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JG300-Ascout
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Posts: 6249
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PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 4:10 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

- JG300-Hoppa
what if they got here and realized that all of our dwellings are igloos coated in seal blubber


Nahhh.....they just smell that way.... Mr. Green

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JG300-Hoppa
Power User

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Posts: 583
Location: vernon BC
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2005 5:07 pm
Post subject: Re: All your questions aboot Canada answered here!

nah stoop,,,,,,penguins are a quite solitary creatures around theses parts and usually so fast you dont get more than just a quik glimpse,,,,i know the moose wont eat em',,,,but ya gotta watch them french canadians,,,they will put just aboot anything in their smoker's and I would think penguins might not be excluded from that list,,,,,,lol... Laughing

now too clear up the whole,,,,,"aboot",,,thing,,,,,I am pretty sure thats a newfy thing cause I dont know anyone that says about that way except for them,,,for those who are a little confused about newfy's,,,,,,,,,newfy is short for a newfounlander,,,,they can drink like there is no tomorrow and play a vicious game of darts,,,and man,,,,,,you have not tasted good seafood till you goto a good newf bar and order up a couple pounds of mussels and some clam chowder,,, by the way,,,,I am allowed to say newfy cause I have a few buds from there,,,and they dont seem to mind it when I say it,,,,,plus,,,my brother married one and I once dated a lil' cutey from ....mings bight.....

now,,,aboot our stinky dwellings,,,,I confess,,,,I dont live in an igloo,,,and I usually keep the seal blubber in the fridge to keep it fresh,,,,so thats not the cause,,,,,,,I'm thinking the smell may be from skinning all them beavers from my trapline in the living room,,,,I dont want to do it outside cause the smell sure does attract the walrus's,,,,and lemmee tell ya',,,,you dont want a walrus stompin' around the corner and surprising you,,,,them suckers move like the wind ......and once in awhile my neighbors pet polar bear gets outa the fence and the first stop he makes is my drying stand,,,,the last time he ate all my beaver pelts he left a huge turd in my yard,,,,so after rubbing his nose in it i had to drag him back to his yard by the scruff of his neck,,,,,,,I felt rather guilty aboot that,,,,

well,,,,,,I have an early day tomorrow so I better skidaddle,,,,,we have a whale hunt early and I still gotta get the canoe ready,,,,,,and for the life of me I cant remember whereaboots I left my harpoon,,,,,,.....

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