- actual Home Office guidance documentation; "Travel Advice for Air Passengers

If you want to fly anywhere in the world, we're gonna make it as damned inconvenient for you as we possibly can.
You will have most of your luggage confiscated and then we will delay you for three or four hours on top.
If, after this, you still want to fly somewhere, we're not going to let you anyway.
Please don't ask "Why is all this necessarry? It's not required anywhere else in the world!", as our security officers have trouble understanding questions phrased this simply and may opt to confiscate another item of your luggage they hadn't previously considered.
The Home Office realises these procedures are raving bonkers and that their implimentation will inconvenience potential passengers and anyone even loosely connected to the UK aviation industry.
We are endeavouring to keep our usual times off the tee, while you sort it out amongst yourselves."