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JG300-Ascout · Posted: Tue Oct 31, 2006 2:10 pm Post subject: You MAY be a redneck pilot....

....if:

... your stall warning plays "Dixie."
... your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
... you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
... you've ever used moonshine as avgas.
... you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
... you think GPS stands for going perfectly straight.
... your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
... you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
... just before impact, you are heard saying, "Hey y'all, watch this!"
... you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
... you've ever just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
... you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
... you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
... you wouldn't be caught dead flying' a Grumman "Yankee."
... you refer to flying in formation as "We got ourselves a convoy!"
... there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
... when you are the owner of Red Neck Airlines and pilot of Redneck One.
... you subscribe to The Southern Aviator because of the soft paper!
... you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
... you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase "That's a big 10-4!"
... you typically answer female controllers with titles like "sugar" or "little darlin'."
... if she responds with the words "Honey" or "Big guy" then she may be a redneck too.
... you have ever used a relief tube as a spittoon.
... you glance down at your belt buckle to help you remember your N-number.
... you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her doublewide.
... the preprinted portion of your weight and balance sheet contains "Case of Bud."
... your go/no-go checklist includes the words "Skoal" or "Redman."

Shadow_Bshwackr

ROFLMAO...some great stuff there! Thanks Ascout!

JG300-1Bullet

Muchabliged,
A'm really glad someone mad up ah list. Us good ole boys don't fly a fur piece at one time. Sometimes tha Dayum bailin and bob war comes off.... Hale if it wern't for trailr parks and such it would be durn hard for us ta git around. Awl rigs help us TEXAS boys. If it wern't for those landmarks we would be goin Everwhichaways. Ya got ta watch out for them tall tires too. Some of em go up ta a couple thousand foot.
Hale I even been ovair at the airport and watched them good ole boys taxi them planes, with a dayum keg on top of ole number 3. Where else can ya go around in a dadburn vehicle and not git pulled over by the law for swerving over tha yeller line. You do have ta be carfull of them ignert gummit fellers though.....
Well I guess I'd better git over thar to mominems Wink