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Step back in time ... :: Archived
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Joined: Feb 04, 2005
Posts: 293
Location: Mn,USA
PostPosted: Fri Jan 20, 2006 7:40 pm
Post subject: Step back in time ...

If you remember The Original Hollywood Squares and its comics, this will bring a tear to your eyes. These great questions and answers are from the days when game show responses were spontaneous and clever, not scripted and (often) dull as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions, of course.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your
hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist
camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a
goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting "Poo! Poo!
Poo!" What does this mean?
A. George Gobel: Cattle crossing.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh


Ullus Vicis , Ullus Qua.
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Power User

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Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6257
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 4:28 am
Post subject: Re: Step back in time ...

Q. What is the useful life of the average matress?
Paul Lynde: "About thirteen minutes."

"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"
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Joined: Jan 21, 2005
Posts: 7015
Location: Central Illinois, USA
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 12:32 pm
Post subject: Re: Step back in time ...


And yes, I do remember some of those comments....lol
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Joined: Dec 26, 2004
Posts: 1469
Location: Ontario, CANADA (next to the beer store)
PostPosted: Sat Jan 21, 2006 1:08 pm
Post subject: Re: Step back in time ...

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Joined: Jul 12, 2005
Posts: 174
Location: Hampton Va. US
PostPosted: Sun Jan 22, 2006 8:29 pm
Post subject: Re: Step back in time ...

I saw the reruns.... yeah right

Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)
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Joined: Jun 23, 2005
Posts: 88
PostPosted: Tue Jan 24, 2006 5:36 am
Post subject: Re: Step back in time ...

thanks Snow i just sat in the middle of a major medical center and gut laughed till i couldn't breathe....people have been looking at me like a dog looks at a fan...

"if a man says something in the woods and a woman isn't there to hear it, is he still wrong?"
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