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JG300-Ascout
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Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6257
Location: Cyberspace

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 3:05 pm
Post subject: Rules of Engagement.....

(No-disrespect-intended-to-any-of-our-brave-and-essential-armed-services disclaimer: This is a joke, intended as a joke, so nobody gets their panties in a wad....'Kay?) Smile

____________________________________________________________

Rules Of Engagement

US Marine Corps Rules:

1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive enough, quickly enough.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won't work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a "4."
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral & diagonal preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating your intention to shoot.

Navy SEAL's Rules:

1. Look very cool in sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Adjust speedo.
4. Check hair in mirror.

US Army Rangers Rules:

1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound rucksack while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from "Higher" to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound rucksack while starving.

US Army Rules:

1. Select a new beret to wear.
2. Sew patches on right shoulder.
3. Change the color of beret you decide to wear.

US Air Force Rules:

1. Have a cocktail.
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner.
3. See what's on HBO.
4. Ask "what is a gunfight?"
5. Request more funding from Congress with a "killer" PowerPoint presentation.
6. Wine & dine 'key' Congressmen, invite DOD & defense industry executives.
7. Receive funding, set up new command and assemble assets.
8. Declare the assets "strategic" and never deploy them operationally.
9. Hurry to make 1345 tee-time.

US Navy Rules:

1. Go to Sea.
2. Drink Coffee.
3. Deploy Marines

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Shadow_Bshwackr
Janitor

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Joined: Jan 21, 2005
Posts: 7019
Location: Central Illinois, USA

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 5:12 pm Post subject: Re: Rules of Engagement.....
ROFLMAO...:chug:

Shades
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Joined: Mar 07, 2005
Posts: 6475
Location: 3rd Branch up, 'Ye Olde Oak', Green Wood.

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 5:36 pm
Post subject: Re: Rules of Engagement.....

lololol

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RCAF_Wingnut
Power User

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Joined: Jan 29, 2005
Posts: 786
Location: Omaha, Ne.

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 6:56 pm
Post subject: Re: Rules of Engagement.....

I recently made an alteration to the Air Force rules. That modification is this:

As a former Air Force person, I have a slight revision to the rules for the Air Force. Instead of asking what a gun fight is, send in the A-10's to hit your apponent with the 40mm cannon in the nose. If he gets up, then drop a 1000 lb bomb on him. That should take him and all his friends out, so you can go back to the O-club for a 5 o'clock cocktail.

The Airforce believe in gunfights, its just they don't fight fair. We usually do it from way up above the bone head that picks the fight, and make sure they don't win. It's like swatting a fly with a 105 howitzer. Over kill.

Let me know what you all think.

_________________
"May your Enemys Run With Fear!!"

Doug_Kibbey
Power User

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Joined: Jan 23, 2006
Posts: 4678
Location: The Great Satan

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 7:59 pm Post subject: Re: Rules of Engagement.....
- jo_wingnut send in the A-10's to hit your apponent with the 40mm cannon in the nose. Let me know what you all think. I think an A-10 is equipped with a 30mm multibarrel....

RCAF_Wingnut
Power User

Offline
Joined: Jan 29, 2005
Posts: 786
Location: Omaha, Ne.

Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2006 10:52 pm Post subject: Re: Rules of Engagement.....
Sorry, You are right, and the rounds are depleted uranium armor piercing high explosive rounds. _________________ "May your Enemys Run With Fear!!"

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