±Recent Visitors

Recent Visitors to Com-Central!

±User Info-big


Welcome Anonymous

Nickname
Password

Membership:
Latest: HighestAce
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 6648

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 304
Total: 304
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Community Forums
02: Home
03: CPGlang
04: Downloads
05: Community Forums
06: Community Forums
07: Community Forums
08: Home
09: Home
10: Community Forums
11: Community Forums
12: Community Forums
13: Home
14: Community Forums
15: Community Forums
16: Community Forums
17: Community Forums
18: Community Forums
19: Community Forums
20: Community Forums
21: Community Forums
22: Downloads
23: Community Forums
24: Community Forums
25: Community Forums
26: Photo Gallery
27: Community Forums
28: Photo Gallery
29: Community Forums
30: News Archive
31: Photo Gallery
32: Community Forums
33: Home
34: Home
35: Community Forums
36: Home
37: Community Forums
38: Community Forums
39: Home
40: Community Forums
41: Home
42: Community Forums
43: Home
44: News
45: Downloads
46: Downloads
47: Community Forums
48: Home
49: CPGlang
50: Community Forums
51: Home
52: Community Forums
53: Community Forums
54: Home
55: Community Forums
56: Home
57: Community Forums
58: Community Forums
59: Community Forums
60: Home
61: Community Forums
62: Home
63: Home
64: Community Forums
65: Community Forums
66: Home
67: Community Forums
68: Community Forums
69: Downloads
70: Community Forums
71: Community Forums
72: Home
73: Community Forums
74: Home
75: Community Forums
76: Home
77: Home
78: Home
79: Community Forums
80: Community Forums
81: Community Forums
82: Community Forums
83: Community Forums
84: Community Forums
85: Photo Gallery
86: Photo Gallery
87: Photo Gallery
88: Members List
89: Community Forums
90: Community Forums
91: Community Forums
92: Downloads
93: Home
94: Community Forums
95: Community Forums
96: Community Forums
97: Community Forums
98: Community Forums
99: Community Forums
100: Community Forums
101: Community Forums
102: Community Forums
103: Community Forums
104: Community Forums
105: Community Forums
106: Community Forums
107: Community Forums
108: Community Forums
109: Community Forums
110: Home
111: Community Forums
112: Community Forums
113: News
114: Your Account
115: Home
116: Downloads
117: Community Forums
118: Community Forums
119: Home
120: Community Forums
121: Community Forums
122: Home
123: Home
124: Community Forums
125: Home
126: Community Forums
127: Home
128: Community Forums
129: Community Forums
130: CPGlang
131: Photo Gallery
132: Member Screenshots
133: Community Forums
134: Home
135: Community Forums
136: Home
137: Community Forums
138: Community Forums
139: Home
140: Community Forums
141: Home
142: Home
143: Community Forums
144: Community Forums
145: Community Forums
146: Home
147: News
148: Community Forums
149: CPGlang
150: Statistics
151: Your Account
152: Home
153: Community Forums
154: Home
155: Home
156: Home
157: Home
158: Member Screenshots
159: Community Forums
160: Community Forums
161: Community Forums
162: Community Forums
163: Community Forums
164: Downloads
165: Home
166: Community Forums
167: Community Forums
168: Community Forums
169: Community Forums
170: CPGlang
171: Home
172: Home
173: Community Forums
174: Home
175: Community Forums
176: Community Forums
177: Home
178: Member Screenshots
179: Community Forums
180: Community Forums
181: Community Forums
182: Community Forums
183: Community Forums
184: News
185: Community Forums
186: Community Forums
187: Photo Gallery
188: Home
189: Photo Gallery
190: Community Forums
191: Community Forums
192: Community Forums
193: Community Forums
194: Community Forums
195: Community Forums
196: Home
197: Photo Gallery
198: Community Forums
199: Community Forums
200: Community Forums
201: Community Forums
202: CPGlang
203: Home
204: Photo Gallery
205: Community Forums
206: Community Forums
207: Community Forums
208: Community Forums
209: Community Forums
210: Community Forums
211: Community Forums
212: Community Forums
213: News
214: Community Forums
215: Downloads
216: Community Forums
217: CPGlang
218: Home
219: Community Forums
220: Home
221: Community Forums
222: Community Forums
223: Community Forums
224: Community Forums
225: Community Forums
226: Community Forums
227: Photo Gallery
228: Community Forums
229: Community Forums
230: Home
231: Home
232: Community Forums
233: Community Forums
234: Home
235: Downloads
236: Community Forums
237: Community Forums
238: Member Screenshots
239: Community Forums
240: Community Forums
241: Home
242: Community Forums
243: Photo Gallery
244: Home
245: Community Forums
246: Photo Gallery
247: Community Forums
248: Photo Gallery
249: Photo Gallery
250: Community Forums
251: Home
252: Community Forums
253: Community Forums
254: Community Forums
255: Community Forums
256: Home
257: Community Forums
258: Community Forums
259: Home
260: Community Forums
261: Community Forums
262: Community Forums
263: Community Forums
264: Home
265: Home
266: Home
267: CPGlang
268: Community Forums
269: Community Forums
270: Home
271: News
272: Community Forums
273: Your Account
274: Home
275: Downloads
276: Community Forums
277: Photo Gallery
278: Members List
279: News
280: Community Forums
281: Community Forums
282: Community Forums
283: Community Forums
284: Community Forums
285: Community Forums
286: Community Forums
287: Community Forums
288: Community Forums
289: Community Forums
290: Home
291: Community Forums
292: Community Forums
293: Downloads
294: Member Screenshots
295: Photo Gallery
296: Community Forums
297: Home
298: Community Forums
299: Community Forums
300: Home
301: Community Forums
302: Photo Gallery
303: Community Forums
304: Community Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
Alligator attack study.... :: Archived
A general meeting place for all pilots!
Post new topic    Revive this topic    Printer Friendly Page     Forum Index ›  Officer's Club

Topic Archived View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
JG300-Ascout
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6257
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2006 1:39 pm
Post subject: Alligator attack study....

...my version of "science in the news":

The Onion 05/11/06
Baton Rogue, La.

In a breakthrough study that contradicts decades of understanding about the nature of alligator -drunkard relations, Louisiana State University researchers have concluded that people's drunkenness does not impair the ancient reptiles ability to inflict enormous physical harm.

Alligators exhibit the potential to inflict serious harm regardless of the blood alcohol level of their victims.

Our data strongly indicates that human intoxication does not transform an alligator into a docile creature that enjoy's wrestling, said professor Ryder McCrory, chair of the Wildlife Taunting Department of LSU's prestigous Center for Bullying and Hazing Studies. Despite its slow witted demeanor and tendency to bask motionless in the hot sun, its a mistake to believe that an alligator will passively tolerate a half-nelson, no matter how much Southern Comfort is fueling it.

McCrory said the studies yielded statisitics that speak for themselves.

In 10 out of 10 documented cases of violent alligator encounters, the reptile was not influenced by the fact that the victim was "just kidding", or, "just having some fun," McCrory said.

To an alligator, McCrory explained, a humna forearm, even drunkenly dangling between the creatures casually opened jaws, still appears to be prey.

In field experiments members of the control group performed no better. and often far worse, than their sober counterparts in defending themselves against a 300 pound, seven foot bull alligator. Even when armed with an empty tequilla bottle.

At best, the bottle bounced harmlessly off the gator's snout, said LSU research assistant Tracy Sawyer.

When placed in the water the drunken volunteers faried even worse, and the alligator markedly better, sawyer said.

In addition, the alligator out performed their inebriated human counterparts in the following ares: lunging, biting, crushing, dismembering and swallowing.

According to the study, an alligators characteristic grin should not be interpreted as a lighthearted rection to the outrageous nerve of their alcohol addled human. Dont let an alligators easy going appearance fool you, these creatures have no empathy for drunken pranksters looking for fun. They are not black bears, Sawyer said.

McCrory recommended that alligator wrestling be undertaken solely by professionals, specifically roadside attraction proprietors. For drunkards interested in proving their mettle with alligators, the researchers proposed the following guidelines.

Instead of baiting an alligator, seek another form of drunken recreation, such as attending a strip club. burning a pile of tires, or painting ones buttocks with a funny face and video taping it.

Sick or infant deer are considered a far safer match for most inebriated humans, kicking a racoon or squirrel already dying by the side of the road is also recommended.

Experts suggests that those who become aggressive after consuming alcohol would be safer channeling that eneergy into more constructive behavior, such as calling an ex-lover.

And McCrory warned drunkards who absolutely must assault an alligator while inebriated to first make sure it is not a John Deere Gator cargo utility vehicle. This oversight is a common occuremce, he said.

_________________
"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Shades
Forum Tree-Rat

Offline Offline
Joined: Mar 07, 2005
Posts: 6475
Location: 3rd Branch up, 'Ye Olde Oak', Green Wood.
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2006 2:19 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Ascout
kicking a squirrel already dying by the side of the road is recommended.
The Senator from the Woodland State wishes to object!

Razz

_________________
Skwerl's place.

Com-Central's cutest, fluffiest, twitchiest, tail.
CPU > Intel i9-9900k (o/c 4.9GHz); COOLING > BeQuiet! Dark Rock Pro 4;
MOBO > ASUS PRIME Z390-A; RAM > 2x32GB Corsair LPX 2666MHz;
GPU > Gigabyte GEFORCE GTX650Ti PCI-e 3.0 2Gb GDDR5;
AUDIO > Creative X-Fi Xtreme Music (plus - Universal Audio UAD2 Quad Custom accelerator);
HDD > 3x1TB+ M.2. SSDs; LCD > DELL - S2419HGF (1920x1080);
PSU > 650W be quiet Straight Power 11 - 80+ Gold;
CASE > BeQuiet! SILENT BASE 601; OS > Windows 11 Home Advanced (64-bit).
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website ICQ Number
JG300-Stoopy
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 5840
Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 2:39 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Ascout
Instead of baiting an alligator, seek another form of drunken recreation, such as ..... painting ones buttocks with a funny face and video taping it.


This is very much exemplary of the kind of sound, realistic and PRACTICABLE scientific advice that the general public needs more of. The Onion once again demonstrate's it's ability to provide truly germain information on critical topics and goes beyond merely reporting the news, but also gives real-world examples of how the average Joe or Joan can even use the information to improve their lives with healthy and expressive activities.

VERY much glad you shared this!!!!!

_________________
"Once your reputation is ruined, you can live quite freely."
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
JG300-Stoopy
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 5840
Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 5:31 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

Oh...and before I forget.....

I couldn't find the article. Do you remember if they recommended using latex or water-based paints?

_________________
"Once your reputation is ruined, you can live quite freely."
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
JG300-Ascout
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6257
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 5:42 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Stoopy
Oh...and before I forget.....

I couldn't find the article. Do you remember if they recommended using latex or water-based paints?


In your case, I'd recommend Imron....or even powder-coating. Resists sag....

_________________
"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
JG300-Stoopy
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 5840
Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 5:53 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

LMAO!!!!

This snot-and-coffee-spew-encrusted keyboard gets harder and harder to type on all the time!!!!!

Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile

_________________
"Once your reputation is ruined, you can live quite freely."
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
JG300-fr8ycat
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Mar 13, 2005
Posts: 1528
Location: Los Angeles
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 6:23 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

Yea but they didn't address whether or not the intoxicated human looks more attractive to the alligator.

Like when I get intoxicated and look in the mirror I see George Clooney and when I'm just flat out wasted and look in the mirror I see Brad Pit.

So obviously the more I drink the better looking I get which might not make the alligator more "docile" but would probably make him more appraochable and decrease my chances of getting rejected.

_________________
Back to top
View user's profile MSN Messenger Photo Gallery
JG300-Ascout
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6257
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 7:14 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- fr8ycat
...decrease my chances of getting rejected.


Your fear of rejection days should be over now that you've wriggled your way into JG300! (We need to see about getting you re-registered with something snappy, like "JG300-Fr8ycat"). Wink

_________________
"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
C_Sherman
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 24, 2006
Posts: 590

PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 8:50 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

Another unanswered question is whether the 'gators prefer their food marinated or plain...

And...does beer add more flavor than wine or hard liquor?

C

_________________
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it
will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
-Herm Albright

Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc!
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Shadow_Bshwackr
Janitor

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 21, 2005
Posts: 7019
Location: Central Illinois, USA
PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 12:00 am
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Ascout


Your fear of rejection days should be over now that you've wriggled your way into JG300! (We need to see about getting you re-registered with something snappy, like "JG300-Fr8ycat"). Wink


Check out his name now...:wink:
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic    Revive this topic    Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index ›  Officer's Club
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 6 Hours

Archive Revive
Username:
This is an archived topic - your reply will not be appended here.
Instead, a new topic will be generated in the active forum.
The new topic will provide a reference link to this archived topic.