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Women again... :: Archived
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Uhu_Deenee
Power User

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Joined: May 09, 2005
Posts: 98

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:41 pm
Post subject: Women again...

Well, it made me laugh!!! Laughing

------------------

Fresh from my shower, I stand in front of the mirror, complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.

Instead of characteristically telling me it's not so, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: "If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds."

Willing to try anything, I fetch a piece of toilet paper and I stand in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts. "How long will this take?" I ask.

"They will grow larger over a period of years," he replies.

I stop. "Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts larger over the years?

Without missing a beat he says, "Worked for your bottom, didn't it?"

He's still alive, and with a great deal of physical therapy, he may even walk again. Stupid, stupid man.

-------------

Houdini

Combat
Power User

Offline
Joined: Jan 06, 2005
Posts: 1035

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 12:54 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
lol I gotta try that one with Mrs. Bat! _________________ www.ironmules.com Home of the Fast and Furious Iron Mule Squadron!

Kitform
Bar Maid

Offline
Joined: Jan 22, 2005
Posts: 2011
Location: Cleveland. UK.

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 3:41 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
Very good...lol I'll try that on my squaw...I may be off line for a while...Recovering

Shadow_Bshwackr
Janitor

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Joined: Jan 21, 2005
Posts: 7021
Location: Central Illinois, USA

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 4:26 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
LOL Kit and Bat, you may want to forward all your phone calls to the hospital room you'll be staying in...lol

RCAF_Wingnut
Power User

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Joined: Jan 29, 2005
Posts: 786
Location: Omaha, Ne.

Posted: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:02 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
Good luck on surviving guys. If your ladies are anything like my room mate, they keep 9 inch cast iron skillets for just such occassions, and usually ambush when you are asleep. That big ole dent followed by that huge ostrich egg that raises up on the brain pan hurts ferociously. I think it is akin to a full frontal lobotomy if you survive. _________________ "May your Enemys Run With Fear!!"

FF_StepChild
Power User

Offline
Joined: Jul 12, 2005
Posts: 174
Location: Hampton Va. US

Posted: Thu Oct 20, 2005 4:03 am Post subject: Re: Women again...
I wear the pants in this family... when she lets me _________________ Do you realize that in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of OLD LADIES running around with tattoos? (And RAP music will be the Golden Oldies!)

FF_Graybeard
Power User

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Joined: Oct 21, 2005
Posts: 2
Location: upstate NY

Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2005 5:01 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
He wishes he wears the pants. Been married 42 yrs and can't find mine, she hid them.

IMS_JoseCuervo
Power User

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Joined: Jun 23, 2005
Posts: 88
Location: NEW YORK,PARIS,LONDON,FADETTE

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 12:02 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
my wife suffers from CPB......Chronic Biscuit Poisoning....she weighs over 500lbs.....it does have it's perks though, she's warm in the winter...shady in the summer....in the meantime i just sit around and chew the fat. _________________ "if a man says something in the woods and a woman isn't there to hear it, is he still wrong?"

Combat
Power User

Offline
Joined: Jan 06, 2005
Posts: 1035

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 2:10 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
LMAO!!!!! _________________ www.ironmules.com Home of the Fast and Furious Iron Mule Squadron!

JG300-1Bullet
Power User

Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 1117
Location: Odessa, Texas

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 9:28 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
I've been married for 17 years and I'm the Boss.............. But she's the BIG BOSS........... _________________ You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3

RCAF_MadDog
Janitor

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Joined: Nov 13, 2004
Posts: 849

Posted: Thu Oct 27, 2005 9:43 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
Married 25 years here and I do as I please and get away with it lol And she does as she pleases too and she gets away with it lol All in all I would say we got it made

FF_RacerXXX
Power User

Offline
Joined: Oct 21, 2005
Posts: 11
Location: Midlothian Va.

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 2:20 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
Ive never been married and I'm still not the Boss

JG300-Ascout
Power User

Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6258
Location: Cyberspace

Posted: Sat Oct 29, 2005 2:30 pm Post subject: Re: Women again...
Married 4.5 years and we don't have a designated boss...more like a "balance of terror". _________________ "All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"

JG300-Dan736
Power User

Offline
Joined: Jan 26, 2005
Posts: 484
Location: Burlinton Ont

Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2005 8:40 am Post subject: Re: Women again...
It's 14 years for me and I have learned to nod my head a lot. _________________ eagles may soar but a weasel won't get sucked into a jet engine

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