±Recent Visitors

Recent Visitors to Com-Central!

±User Info-big


Welcome Anonymous

Nickname
Password

Membership:
Latest: HighestAce
New Today: 0
New Yesterday: 0
Overall: 6648

People Online:
Members: 0
Visitors: 831
Total: 831
Who Is Where:
 Visitors:
01: Community Forums
02: Home
03: Community Forums
04: Community Forums
05: Community Forums
06: Downloads
07: News
08: Member Screenshots
09: Home
10: News
11: Downloads
12: Downloads
13: Downloads
14: Photo Gallery
15: Photo Gallery
16: Photo Gallery
17: Home
18: Community Forums
19: News
20: Home
21: Your Account
22: Photo Gallery
23: Home
24: Home
25: Home
26: Home
27: Home
28: Home
29: Community Forums
30: Community Forums
31: News Archive
32: Photo Gallery
33: Photo Gallery
34: Community Forums
35: Tell a Friend
36: Community Forums
37: Home
38: LinkToUs
39: Downloads
40: Community Forums
41: Community Forums
42: Community Forums
43: Photo Gallery
44: Downloads
45: Community Forums
46: News Archive
47: Photo Gallery
48: Photo Gallery
49: Home
50: Photo Gallery
51: Community Forums
52: Community Forums
53: Home
54: Community Forums
55: Community Forums
56: Community Forums
57: Home
58: Photo Gallery
59: Photo Gallery
60: Your Account
61: Home
62: News
63: Your Account
64: Photo Gallery
65: Member Screenshots
66: Photo Gallery
67: Tell a Friend
68: Home
69: Home
70: Home
71: Community Forums
72: Home
73: Home
74: Home
75: Photo Gallery
76: Home
77: Home
78: News
79: Home
80: Home
81: Community Forums
82: Downloads
83: Photo Gallery
84: Community Forums
85: Home
86: News
87: Home
88: Home
89: Community Forums
90: Home
91: Photo Gallery
92: Home
93: Home
94: Downloads
95: Home
96: Downloads
97: Downloads
98: Home
99: Downloads
100: News
101: Home
102: Community Forums
103: Community Forums
104: Home
105: News
106: Community Forums
107: Downloads
108: News
109: News
110: News Archive
111: Community Forums
112: Community Forums
113: Home
114: Community Forums
115: Member Screenshots
116: News
117: Home
118: Home
119: Community Forums
120: Community Forums
121: Home
122: Community Forums
123: Member Screenshots
124: Home
125: Community Forums
126: Photo Gallery
127: Member Screenshots
128: Home
129: Home
130: Community Forums
131: Photo Gallery
132: Home
133: Community Forums
134: Home
135: Home
136: Community Forums
137: Photo Gallery
138: Community Forums
139: Home
140: Photo Gallery
141: Home
142: Photo Gallery
143: Community Forums
144: Photo Gallery
145: Downloads
146: Community Forums
147: Community Forums
148: Community Forums
149: Downloads
150: Community Forums
151: Photo Gallery
152: Member Screenshots
153: Community Forums
154: Community Forums
155: Community Forums
156: Downloads
157: Community Forums
158: Home
159: Home
160: Community Forums
161: Home
162: Photo Gallery
163: Downloads
164: Downloads
165: Home
166: Downloads
167: Photo Gallery
168: Home
169: Community Forums
170: Community Forums
171: Community Forums
172: Community Forums
173: Member Screenshots
174: Community Forums
175: Home
176: Community Forums
177: Photo Gallery
178: Downloads
179: Photo Gallery
180: Community Forums
181: Photo Gallery
182: Photo Gallery
183: Home
184: Community Forums
185: Community Forums
186: Photo Gallery
187: Photo Gallery
188: Community Forums
189: Home
190: Community Forums
191: Community Forums
192: Community Forums
193: Member Screenshots
194: Community Forums
195: Community Forums
196: Photo Gallery
197: News
198: Community Forums
199: Photo Gallery
200: Member Screenshots
201: Home
202: Home
203: Community Forums
204: Community Forums
205: Community Forums
206: Home
207: Home
208: Community Forums
209: Community Forums
210: Photo Gallery
211: Home
212: Member Screenshots
213: Community Forums
214: Community Forums
215: Home
216: Downloads
217: Downloads
218: Community Forums
219: Home
220: Home
221: Home
222: Home
223: Home
224: News
225: Home
226: Home
227: Community Forums
228: Photo Gallery
229: Downloads
230: Community Forums
231: Community Forums
232: Community Forums
233: Community Forums
234: Home
235: Downloads
236: Community Forums
237: Community Forums
238: Downloads
239: Community Forums
240: Home
241: Community Forums
242: Photo Gallery
243: Downloads
244: Community Forums
245: Community Forums
246: Photo Gallery
247: Downloads
248: Home
249: Home
250: Photo Gallery
251: Photo Gallery
252: Home
253: Community Forums
254: Home
255: Photo Gallery
256: Community Forums
257: Home
258: Community Forums
259: Tell a Friend
260: Tell a Friend
261: Photo Gallery
262: Home
263: Home
264: Home
265: Home
266: Home
267: Home
268: Community Forums
269: Community Forums
270: Home
271: Community Forums
272: Home
273: Community Forums
274: Photo Gallery
275: Home
276: Downloads
277: Community Forums
278: Downloads
279: Photo Gallery
280: Community Forums
281: Community Forums
282: Downloads
283: Home
284: Home
285: Home
286: Member Screenshots
287: Downloads
288: Home
289: Home
290: Community Forums
291: Community Forums
292: Community Forums
293: Home
294: Your Account
295: Community Forums
296: Community Forums
297: Community Forums
298: Home
299: Community Forums
300: Community Forums
301: Community Forums
302: Home
303: Community Forums
304: Community Forums
305: Home
306: Community Forums
307: Community Forums
308: Home
309: Home
310: Home
311: Photo Gallery
312: Home
313: Home
314: Home
315: Home
316: Home
317: Community Forums
318: Community Forums
319: Home
320: Home
321: Home
322: Home
323: Home
324: Home
325: Member Screenshots
326: Community Forums
327: Home
328: Home
329: Community Forums
330: Photo Gallery
331: Downloads
332: Community Forums
333: Community Forums
334: Home
335: Home
336: Community Forums
337: Community Forums
338: Community Forums
339: Member Screenshots
340: Community Forums
341: Downloads
342: Community Forums
343: Home
344: Community Forums
345: Community Forums
346: Home
347: Downloads
348: Community Forums
349: Home
350: Photo Gallery
351: News
352: Statistics
353: Community Forums
354: Home
355: Home
356: Home
357: Downloads
358: Community Forums
359: Downloads
360: News
361: Home
362: Home
363: Home
364: Your Account
365: Community Forums
366: Community Forums
367: News
368: Community Forums
369: Home
370: Home
371: Community Forums
372: Downloads
373: Home
374: Your Account
375: Your Account
376: Home
377: Downloads
378: Home
379: Home
380: Home
381: Home
382: News
383: Member Screenshots
384: Home
385: News
386: Home
387: Community Forums
388: Home
389: Community Forums
390: Member Screenshots
391: Community Forums
392: Community Forums
393: Home
394: Member Screenshots
395: Photo Gallery
396: Community Forums
397: Community Forums
398: Community Forums
399: Home
400: Photo Gallery
401: Home
402: Home
403: Home
404: Community Forums
405: Photo Gallery
406: Community Forums
407: Photo Gallery
408: Member Screenshots
409: Community Forums
410: Photo Gallery
411: Home
412: Community Forums
413: Community Forums
414: Home
415: Home
416: Member Screenshots
417: Photo Gallery
418: Community Forums
419: Photo Gallery
420: Community Forums
421: Photo Gallery
422: Photo Gallery
423: Photo Gallery
424: Photo Gallery
425: Community Forums
426: Downloads
427: Photo Gallery
428: Community Forums
429: Home
430: Community Forums
431: Community Forums
432: Home
433: Community Forums
434: Photo Gallery
435: Community Forums
436: Community Forums
437: Home
438: Community Forums
439: Community Forums
440: Photo Gallery
441: Community Forums
442: Supporters
443: Home
444: Member Screenshots
445: Community Forums
446: Community Forums
447: Home
448: Home
449: Downloads
450: Home
451: Home
452: Photo Gallery
453: Community Forums
454: Home
455: Home
456: Photo Gallery
457: Home
458: Home
459: Downloads
460: Community Forums
461: Photo Gallery
462: Photo Gallery
463: Photo Gallery
464: Community Forums
465: Home
466: Community Forums
467: Home
468: Community Forums
469: Home
470: Downloads
471: News
472: Community Forums
473: Member Screenshots
474: Member Screenshots
475: Community Forums
476: Community Forums
477: Statistics
478: Home
479: Member Screenshots
480: Community Forums
481: Home
482: Member Screenshots
483: Home
484: Photo Gallery
485: Home
486: Home
487: Home
488: Home
489: Member Screenshots
490: News
491: News Archive
492: News
493: Community Forums
494: Your Account
495: Downloads
496: Photo Gallery
497: Downloads
498: Your Account
499: Member Screenshots
500: Photo Gallery
501: Home
502: Downloads
503: Home
504: Community Forums
505: Community Forums
506: Community Forums
507: Community Forums
508: News
509: Community Forums
510: Home
511: News Archive
512: Community Forums
513: Downloads
514: Home
515: Downloads
516: Downloads
517: Community Forums
518: Photo Gallery
519: Community Forums
520: Community Forums
521: Photo Gallery
522: Downloads
523: Home
524: Community Forums
525: Downloads
526: Home
527: Home
528: Home
529: Community Forums
530: Community Forums
531: Home
532: Member Screenshots
533: Photo Gallery
534: Community Forums
535: Photo Gallery
536: Photo Gallery
537: Home
538: Downloads
539: Photo Gallery
540: Community Forums
541: Community Forums
542: Community Forums
543: Contact
544: Home
545: Home
546: Member Screenshots
547: Community Forums
548: Downloads
549: Member Screenshots
550: Community Forums
551: Member Screenshots
552: Home
553: Community Forums
554: Photo Gallery
555: Community Forums
556: Community Forums
557: Member Screenshots
558: Statistics
559: Community Forums
560: Community Forums
561: Home
562: Downloads
563: Home
564: Community Forums
565: Photo Gallery
566: Community Forums
567: Community Forums
568: Community Forums
569: Member Screenshots
570: Home
571: Photo Gallery
572: Community Forums
573: Home
574: Photo Gallery
575: Community Forums
576: Community Forums
577: Photo Gallery
578: Home
579: Home
580: Community Forums
581: Photo Gallery
582: Home
583: Community Forums
584: Community Forums
585: Home
586: Community Forums
587: Member Screenshots
588: News
589: Your Account
590: Photo Gallery
591: Downloads
592: Home
593: Home
594: Home
595: Community Forums
596: Community Forums
597: Community Forums
598: Photo Gallery
599: Photo Gallery
600: Downloads
601: Photo Gallery
602: Community Forums
603: Community Forums
604: Community Forums
605: Home
606: Community Forums
607: Home
608: Home
609: Home
610: Community Forums
611: News
612: Community Forums
613: Home
614: News
615: Photo Gallery
616: News
617: Community Forums
618: Home
619: Community Forums
620: Photo Gallery
621: Community Forums
622: Home
623: Community Forums
624: Home
625: Photo Gallery
626: Photo Gallery
627: Home
628: Community Forums
629: Home
630: Community Forums
631: Home
632: Home
633: Home
634: Home
635: Home
636: Home
637: Home
638: Home
639: Home
640: Home
641: Home
642: Member Screenshots
643: Community Forums
644: Community Forums
645: Community Forums
646: Community Forums
647: Community Forums
648: Home
649: Home
650: Community Forums
651: Community Forums
652: Photo Gallery
653: Photo Gallery
654: Community Forums
655: Home
656: News
657: News Archive
658: Photo Gallery
659: Community Forums
660: Community Forums
661: Home
662: Home
663: Community Forums
664: Community Forums
665: Home
666: Home
667: Home
668: Home
669: Community Forums
670: Member Screenshots
671: Home
672: Home
673: Community Forums
674: Community Forums
675: Community Forums
676: Community Forums
677: Community Forums
678: Community Forums
679: Community Forums
680: Member Screenshots
681: Community Forums
682: Community Forums
683: Community Forums
684: Community Forums
685: Community Forums
686: Community Forums
687: Community Forums
688: Community Forums
689: Home
690: Community Forums
691: Community Forums
692: Community Forums
693: Community Forums
694: Home
695: Photo Gallery
696: Downloads
697: Photo Gallery
698: Home
699: Community Forums
700: Photo Gallery
701: Downloads
702: Home
703: Downloads
704: Downloads
705: Home
706: Community Forums
707: Community Forums
708: Photo Gallery
709: Home
710: Community Forums
711: Community Forums
712: Home
713: Downloads
714: Community Forums
715: Photo Gallery
716: Community Forums
717: Photo Gallery
718: Home
719: Community Forums
720: Photo Gallery
721: Community Forums
722: Photo Gallery
723: Community Forums
724: Community Forums
725: Photo Gallery
726: Home
727: Community Forums
728: Community Forums
729: Home
730: Community Forums
731: Community Forums
732: Community Forums
733: Community Forums
734: Community Forums
735: Community Forums
736: Home
737: Home
738: News Archive
739: Community Forums
740: Photo Gallery
741: Home
742: News
743: Community Forums
744: Community Forums
745: Photo Gallery
746: Downloads
747: Community Forums
748: News Archive
749: Community Forums
750: Home
751: Home
752: News
753: Home
754: Photo Gallery
755: Downloads
756: Community Forums
757: News
758: Photo Gallery
759: Photo Gallery
760: Home
761: Member Screenshots
762: Photo Gallery
763: Your Account
764: Downloads
765: Community Forums
766: Community Forums
767: News
768: Photo Gallery
769: Home
770: News
771: Community Forums
772: Your Account
773: News Archive
774: Community Forums
775: Member Screenshots
776: Member Screenshots
777: Photo Gallery
778: Your Account
779: Community Forums
780: Home
781: Community Forums
782: News
783: Home
784: Community Forums
785: Community Forums
786: News
787: Photo Gallery
788: Home
789: News
790: News
791: Community Forums
792: Home
793: Photo Gallery
794: News
795: Community Forums
796: News
797: Photo Gallery
798: Home
799: News
800: Your Account
801: Home
802: Home
803: News
804: News
805: News Archive
806: News
807: Home
808: Home
809: Community Forums
810: News
811: Photo Gallery
812: Member Screenshots
813: Statistics
814: Community Forums
815: Photo Gallery
816: Home
817: Home
818: Community Forums
819: Your Account
820: Your Account
821: Downloads
822: Downloads
823: Community Forums
824: Community Forums
825: Downloads
826: Photo Gallery
827: Photo Gallery
828: Community Forums
829: Home
830: Home
831: Community Forums

Staff Online:

No staff members are online!
Alligator attack study.... :: Archived
A general meeting place for all pilots!
Post new topic    Revive this topic    Printer Friendly Page     Forum Index ›  Officer's Club

Topic Archived View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
JG300-Ascout
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6258
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2006 1:39 pm
Post subject: Alligator attack study....

...my version of "science in the news":

The Onion 05/11/06
Baton Rogue, La.

In a breakthrough study that contradicts decades of understanding about the nature of alligator -drunkard relations, Louisiana State University researchers have concluded that people's drunkenness does not impair the ancient reptiles ability to inflict enormous physical harm.

Alligators exhibit the potential to inflict serious harm regardless of the blood alcohol level of their victims.

Our data strongly indicates that human intoxication does not transform an alligator into a docile creature that enjoy's wrestling, said professor Ryder McCrory, chair of the Wildlife Taunting Department of LSU's prestigous Center for Bullying and Hazing Studies. Despite its slow witted demeanor and tendency to bask motionless in the hot sun, its a mistake to believe that an alligator will passively tolerate a half-nelson, no matter how much Southern Comfort is fueling it.

McCrory said the studies yielded statisitics that speak for themselves.

In 10 out of 10 documented cases of violent alligator encounters, the reptile was not influenced by the fact that the victim was "just kidding", or, "just having some fun," McCrory said.

To an alligator, McCrory explained, a humna forearm, even drunkenly dangling between the creatures casually opened jaws, still appears to be prey.

In field experiments members of the control group performed no better. and often far worse, than their sober counterparts in defending themselves against a 300 pound, seven foot bull alligator. Even when armed with an empty tequilla bottle.

At best, the bottle bounced harmlessly off the gator's snout, said LSU research assistant Tracy Sawyer.

When placed in the water the drunken volunteers faried even worse, and the alligator markedly better, sawyer said.

In addition, the alligator out performed their inebriated human counterparts in the following ares: lunging, biting, crushing, dismembering and swallowing.

According to the study, an alligators characteristic grin should not be interpreted as a lighthearted rection to the outrageous nerve of their alcohol addled human. Dont let an alligators easy going appearance fool you, these creatures have no empathy for drunken pranksters looking for fun. They are not black bears, Sawyer said.

McCrory recommended that alligator wrestling be undertaken solely by professionals, specifically roadside attraction proprietors. For drunkards interested in proving their mettle with alligators, the researchers proposed the following guidelines.

Instead of baiting an alligator, seek another form of drunken recreation, such as attending a strip club. burning a pile of tires, or painting ones buttocks with a funny face and video taping it.

Sick or infant deer are considered a far safer match for most inebriated humans, kicking a racoon or squirrel already dying by the side of the road is also recommended.

Experts suggests that those who become aggressive after consuming alcohol would be safer channeling that eneergy into more constructive behavior, such as calling an ex-lover.

And McCrory warned drunkards who absolutely must assault an alligator while inebriated to first make sure it is not a John Deere Gator cargo utility vehicle. This oversight is a common occuremce, he said.

_________________
"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Shades
Forum Tree-Rat

Offline Offline
Joined: Mar 07, 2005
Posts: 6481
Location: 3rd Branch up, 'Ye Olde Oak', Green Wood.
PostPosted: Sat May 20, 2006 2:19 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Ascout
kicking a squirrel already dying by the side of the road is recommended.
The Senator from the Woodland State wishes to object!

Razz

_________________
Skwerl's place.

Com-Central's cutest, fluffiest, twitchiest, tail.
CPU > Intel i9-9900k (o/c 4.9GHz); COOLING > BeQuiet! Dark Rock Pro 4;
MOBO > ASUS PRIME Z390-A; RAM > 2x32GB Corsair LPX 2666MHz;
GPU > Gigabyte GEFORCE GTX650Ti PCI-e 3.0 2Gb GDDR5;
AUDIO > Creative X-Fi Xtreme Music (plus - Universal Audio UAD2 Quad Custom accelerator);
HDD > 3x1TB+ M.2. SSDs; LCD > DELL - S2419HGF (1920x1080);
PSU > 650W be quiet Straight Power 11 - 80+ Gold;
CASE > BeQuiet! SILENT BASE 601; OS > Windows 11 Home Advanced (64-bit).
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website ICQ Number
JG300-Stoopy
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 5840
Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 2:39 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Ascout
Instead of baiting an alligator, seek another form of drunken recreation, such as ..... painting ones buttocks with a funny face and video taping it.


This is very much exemplary of the kind of sound, realistic and PRACTICABLE scientific advice that the general public needs more of. The Onion once again demonstrate's it's ability to provide truly germain information on critical topics and goes beyond merely reporting the news, but also gives real-world examples of how the average Joe or Joan can even use the information to improve their lives with healthy and expressive activities.

VERY much glad you shared this!!!!!

_________________
"Once your reputation is ruined, you can live quite freely."
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
JG300-Stoopy
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 5840
Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 5:31 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

Oh...and before I forget.....

I couldn't find the article. Do you remember if they recommended using latex or water-based paints?

_________________
"Once your reputation is ruined, you can live quite freely."
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
JG300-Ascout
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6258
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 5:42 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Stoopy
Oh...and before I forget.....

I couldn't find the article. Do you remember if they recommended using latex or water-based paints?


In your case, I'd recommend Imron....or even powder-coating. Resists sag....

_________________
"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
JG300-Stoopy
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 5840
Location: Group W bench
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 5:53 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

LMAO!!!!

This snot-and-coffee-spew-encrusted keyboard gets harder and harder to type on all the time!!!!!

Smile Smile Smile Smile Smile

_________________
"Once your reputation is ruined, you can live quite freely."
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
JG300-fr8ycat
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Mar 13, 2005
Posts: 1530
Location: Los Angeles
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 6:23 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

Yea but they didn't address whether or not the intoxicated human looks more attractive to the alligator.

Like when I get intoxicated and look in the mirror I see George Clooney and when I'm just flat out wasted and look in the mirror I see Brad Pit.

So obviously the more I drink the better looking I get which might not make the alligator more "docile" but would probably make him more appraochable and decrease my chances of getting rejected.

_________________
Back to top
View user's profile MSN Messenger Photo Gallery
JG300-Ascout
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 05, 2005
Posts: 6258
Location: Cyberspace
PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 7:14 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- fr8ycat
...decrease my chances of getting rejected.


Your fear of rejection days should be over now that you've wriggled your way into JG300! (We need to see about getting you re-registered with something snappy, like "JG300-Fr8ycat"). Wink

_________________
"All facts go to clearly prove that Shades is a thrice-cursed traitor & mentally deranged person steeped in inveterate enmity toward mankind"
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
C_Sherman
Power User

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 24, 2006
Posts: 590

PostPosted: Sun May 21, 2006 8:50 pm
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

Another unanswered question is whether the 'gators prefer their food marinated or plain...

And...does beer add more flavor than wine or hard liquor?

C

_________________
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it
will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
-Herm Albright

Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc!
Back to top
View user's profile Photo Gallery
Shadow_Bshwackr
Janitor

Offline Offline
Joined: Jan 21, 2005
Posts: 7020
Location: Central Illinois, USA
PostPosted: Mon May 22, 2006 12:00 am
Post subject: Re: Alligator attack study....

- JG300-Ascout


Your fear of rejection days should be over now that you've wriggled your way into JG300! (We need to see about getting you re-registered with something snappy, like "JG300-Fr8ycat"). Wink


Check out his name now...:wink:
Back to top
View user's profile Visit poster's website Photo Gallery
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic    Revive this topic    Printer Friendly Page    Forum Index ›  Officer's Club
Page 1 of 1
All times are GMT - 6 Hours

Archive Revive
Username:
This is an archived topic - your reply will not be appended here.
Instead, a new topic will be generated in the active forum.
The new topic will provide a reference link to this archived topic.