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Vix belongs to Shades, TC.
I saw 'er first.

LOL...Trim Tab Technology...PG rules...LOL

YO!

It seems that some fat punk "Elf" wrote this rather harsh letter in which I have no explanation for. I just wanted my teddy bear that I asked for back in 1961. Sheeesh! Now the fat Elf is sueing me. Me of all people! And Im such a nice guy too!


“PGTigercat�

Re: Your letter to Santa Clause postmarked Dec. 22, 2003

I was shocked and grievously injured to receive the letter you wrote to me regarding, as I understood it, an alleged teddy bear which was not delivered to you on Christmas 1961. After receiving this news I conferred with several of my chief administrator Elves and records were searched. We have found that when you met me on December 12, 1961, you distinctly asked for a “crate of Aqua Velva and Polyester Black Leisure suits"not the aforementioned “teddy bear.� In fact, while you sat on my knee and told me what you wanted, you also said several other things which have been noted in my files. You called me a “overstuffed red dude� and you had the effrontery to attempt to “borrow� my sleigh but fortunately I managed to catch you on time.

Surely you can appreciate the difficulty involved with delivering presents accurately and at great speed to 162 million children on the night of December 24th every year. Mrs. Claus and I always wondered about you, in particular, as we were deeply concerned with your low standings on the “Naughty and Nice� list. No matter how many times you were told to be a nice boy, you still called people “punks� and developed a chronic wallet-stealing habit. You also charged outlandishly high prices at your lemonade stand, where you actually sold glasses of water with a few drops of yellow food coloring in them. Despite all of this I dutifully brought you all your requested items, year after year, until finally I couldn’t take it anymore and quit delivering your crap you wanted every Christmas.

Just as I was beginning to hope that you might have OD’ed on Aqua Velva or something, I get this pathetic letter from you 42 years later. In this letter you purport that I, Santa Clause, am to blame for your errant and deviant life of mild petty theft (“borrowing� as you still stubbornly call it), rudeness, senseless murder of thousands of Rookies (who were always higher on the Naughty and Nice List than you were, I might add), among many other things.

Not only were you not content enough to blame me for your perverted life, but you made no hesitation to levy several deep and serious insults at my person. I quote from your letter “fat old red costume wearing elf abusing unfair to reindeer loser punk,� and also, “over-stuffed elf, reindeer-smelling punk, Saint Punkolas, butt scratching, nose picking, booger eating scum sucker.�

THEN you proceed to threaten my person and property, and you distinctly threaten to “cook the reindeer up on the barbi.�

Of course I was much disturbed by this but, it being Christmas time, the season of forgiveness, I decided to ignore your bad manners and deliver your lengthy list of “demands� as you had mentioned in the letter.

After considerable time and expense I proceeded with your myriad junk you wanted (Aqua Velva, leisure suits, et al), and I landed with my sleigh upon your roof. However, it was improperly shingled and I fell and sprained my ankle. I don’t know how you get fire insurance, if you even have it, with such a terrible roof. Anyways, it seemed that my ankle injury was not too serious and I collected your crap and tried to go down your chimney. Your chimney was negligently dirty, seems it has not been cleaned in decades, and you had also failed to remove the fireplace grating from the hearth. In the ensuing fall many bottles of Aqua Velva were smashed and the noxious fumes began to irritate my eyes, causing partial blindness.

By the way, I happen to be the type of person often referred to by insurance companies as an “eggshell.�

My injuries were deemed serious by a licensed medical practitioner and I hold you accountable for all my medical fees, which are still accruing.

I also have no choice but to contact my attorney who is instigating a libel suit for $10,000,000. This may pad my bank account, but will do little to compensate for my mental anguish and hurt feelings.

Get a lawyer punk because you will need one. I’ll see you in court, jerk.

Very best wishes, hoping this letter finds you in the best of holiday cheer,



SANTA F. CLAUSE


TC-

Glue with his hairpiece flappin in his eyes every time he went inverted and speaking of inverted, I think he was so hard to hit because of the way he was jerkin around like a madman trying avoid all them empty newcastle bottles from hitting him as they went flying around in his cockpit...

Had to have someone tell what smelly git meant LOL...

Anyone know whatever happen to Supertoffee, tate and his brother?

Toffee could be found in Ridge, on occasion, almost right up to the bitter end.
Sadly I hadn't seen Glue (not in that nic anyway) since around 2002.

ROFL TC...A 'new' Christmas story...lol

Glue was flying IL2 as some version of Mustang and/or ScottieDog

Glue was Scottie????
Ohhhhhh that S.O.B.!
lolol

Whelp, anyone ever use any other monickers than the one you wear now?

On the zone I used to fly as Brutus_Blutarski... before the Hell Fighters...

I was one of those newbies you ole aces used to 'kilt',, I think it was 76th_Mantis (one of them 76th guys... if 76th is even right LOL ... give me back my memorui\ies someone please!) was trying to teach me how to turn a stang without stalling all the time (I really yanked and banked back then - lots of high speed/high angle of attack stalls) and I tried to remember his basic precept, a slowhand so Loving Clapton as I do and needing a reminder to pull gently, not yank... I became "slowhand".

But I still stall at high speed LOL...

78th_Mantis.
Awesome pilot.
People who'd never flown against him used to talk about Mantis.
He'd moved on by the time I started CFS1 but I was given the opportunity to fly against him once before the end (he wanted to get back into it before it disappeared) and even 'rusty' he was still very good.

As for other names, I've had one or two:-

_Jim_Rockford_, _MeckleBonce_0, _Nanna_Of_Death, _ROAD_K1LL_, _Santa_Bare1, _Shades1_, _Sky_Hero_, _Slave_Master1, _Super_Skwizza_, _Vixs_Valentine, _Voodoo_2, _x_Shades_x_, _05_Nud_Bare1, _BAT_Shades, _DumAzBlunder, _F4rT1N_SheB, BADBARE_UK1, BIG_Gutty0, BoastfulMoth, BroaderCashew, Bubblegum_Coot, CKret_Skwirrell, CrAnk_PrAnKstEr, CuterUnMunkeez, Cutest_Bare, D_StRoYa, Da_Easta_Bunny, Death_2_F1K, Devil_Luvver1, DrRedSkwirrell1, ElderlyMonk, Elv1s_Skwirrell, Exemplo2 (sry Ex, hehehe), Faulty_Two, FidgetyChimp, FormalBeef, FunkyNeurotic, gaze_of_ny4, Godlike_DogFox, Greedy_Shades, GrinningCargo, Harry_Ayres, Hawnee_Ferret, I_R_Blonde, I_R_Leprechaun, I_R_NEKKED_, Ima_Seal, LuvzDaAngel, MinorDizturbanz, MoOnS_PrAnKstEr, MrRedSkwirrell1, Nekked_Ferret, Nervous_Puffin (sry +Arillus, hehehe), Neurotic_Ferret, NeuroticSkwizza, Noble_Thruster, OhhhhhhhhhSilky, P51_Ramrod, Page3_Da_Sun, PeppySquirrel, Polka_Skwirrell, PowerMadPlus1 (for the few childish and power-mad pluses who could upset a pleasant atmosphere just to massage their own egos), Psi_Phy, QC_RedSkwirrell, RacketyPilot, Raven_B0nkers, Raven_Death1, Red_Skwirrel, Red_Skwirrel1, Red_Skwirri1, Saddam_deramis, Santaz_Gift, Santaz_Thruster, Saxon_Phoenix, Saxon_Skwirrel, Shades908 (my original Zone nic), Shadey_Poo, Skarlet_Skwirel, Smooch_Hunter, SneeryFeline, SoapyMillipede, SoopaNova1, St_RedSkwirre11, Stocking_Filla, StTRiNiAnS_GuRL, SuvvernJessie, Toasty_Simian, UnWordless_Duke, Valiant_Ferret, Vampire_Skwizz, VM_Phaggro1, WizardTomb0, (and finally, my former + nic) +Wordless_Duke.

[edit: Forgot me EURO and 'monkey' nics. LOL:
EURO_Shades with various ranks, EW_BarbaryApe, EW_Bubbles_, EW_Gordo and of course, EW_PooFlinga. ]

I never used my multiple nics to hide behind, other than to observe potential EURO recruits (as Personnel Officer) before their acceptance. Thus trying to ensure that we avoided those people who did not believe in playing the game to our standards of humour, fairness and honour.


Slow, you shoulda persisted with the stall. In CFS1 it could be used it as a maneouver. Later games, it woulda prolly ripped the wings off though.
lolol

I_R_NEKKED_ now thats a scarry though! EW_PooFlinga though i smelled something stinky comin from your direction shades.
+Wordless_Duke <---Shades at his finest lol

TC's Christmas Special!

Yo! Well TC's Corner fans, its Christmas time again, and your old pal TC has a wonderful present for each and every one of my loyal fans. It's your very own Genuine Rookie Kilter (autographed model) in which you and your entire family will have many hours of fun shooting down those scrap-picking booger-eating butt-scratching scum rookies, together in the relaxing atmosphere of your own living room. Just think of the joy on little Johnny's face when he shoots down that punk Rookie_Doofus, or your 90 year old Granny laughing a toothless laugh as she is removing Shadow_Weedwakr from the session. The Kilter also comes with:

(1) Genuine Imitation Black Polyester Leisure Suit
(1) Bottle of Aqua Velva
(1) Pair of Italian Rookie Kilting Bowling Shoes
So ... have a very TChristmas! And watch your six, pally!


HOW THE TCGRINCH STOLE THE ROOKIES CHRISTMAS

Every Rookie down in Rookie-Ville liked Christmas a lot ...
But TCGrinch, who lived just north of Sturmgruppe did not!
TCGrinch hated Christmas! The whole darned Christmas season!
Now, pally, don't ask why, nobody quite knows the reason.

It could be that his bald head wasn't screwed on just right,
It could be that his Rookie Kilting Shoes were laced up too tight.
But I think the most likely reason of all,
Was that, pally, that his trigger finger was two sizes too small.

But Whatever the reason was, the finger or his Kiltin' shoes,
TCGrinch stood there on Christmas Eve hating those Rookie dudes!
Staring down from his Kilter Emporium with a sour TCGrinchy frown
At all the Stock scum Rookie houses below in their Stock town.
For TCGrinch know every Rookie down in Rookie-Vill will groan
Every time they are shot down in their stock Hawkers on the Zone.

"They will have all their joysticks!" TC snarled with a sneer.
"Tomorrow is Christmas, it's practically here!
"Those Scum Punk Rookies don't even like Aqua Velva!" TC would yell,
"Those Scum Punk Rookies just don't like the smell!"
Then TCGrinch grunted, with his fat stubby fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find a way to keep Christmas from coming!"
For tomorrow, TCGrinch knew ... all the Rookie girls and boys
Would wake up bright and early and open their Stock CFS toys!
They'd open up Rookie Rooms and make Noise! Noise!! NOISE!!!

Then the Rookies, the Punks, and the Scum, would sit down to a Stock CFS Feast,
And they would Feast, Feast! FEAST!!!
They would start on Rookie-Pudding and Rare Rookie Roast Beast,
Which was something TCGrinch couldn't stand in the least!

And then, they'd do something TCGrinch hated worst of all!
Every Rookie down in Rookie-Ville, and all the odd-balls
Would fly their Stock Hawkers until they'd fall like rocks
Thy'd fly stock, stock, stock, stock, all those scum rookies would fly
STOCK, STOCK, STOCK, STOCK!!!

And the more TCGrinch thought about the Rookie Hawker Christmas Stock,
The more TC thought "I must stop this whole Stock crock!
"Why, for 5 years I've put up with it now!
"I MUST stop the Rookie Christmas from coming ... but how?"

Then TCGrinch got an idea! An awful Idea! An Aqua Velva Awful idea!
TCGrinch got a black polyester Aqua Velva idea!

"I knows just what I'll do!" TCGrinch laughed as he splashed Aqua Valva on his throat
"I'll make me a black polyester Santy Claus flight cap and coat.
Then TCGrinch chuckled and clucked "What a great TCGrinchy trick!
"With this red polyester flight cap and coat I'll look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer .. hmmm ..." TCGrinch thought as he looked around
But since reindeer are scarce in FurBall, there were none to be found..
Did that stop old fat TC? Heck, no way pally. TCGrinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll mod me one instead!"
So TCGrinch called his dog, BlueMax.
And TC took some string and tied a big stock horn on the top of his head.

THEN ... TCGrinch loaded some bags and old empty sacks
Into the trunk of his '63 rainbow mother of pearl Chevy Impala ... and hitched up his dog BlueMax.

And TCGrinch said, "Giddyap!" and the Chevy Impala started down
The sides of Mt. Prop-Hit towards the Rookie Scums homes where the Rookies lay a-snooze in their town.

All the Rookie Windows were dark, and the smell of spent .50-cals filled the air.
All the Scum Rookies were dreaming of TC kilting them, what a Nightmare!
Then TCGrinch came to the first Rookie house in the square.

"This is the first Rookie to lose all his crap," the old TCGrinchy Clause hissed.
And the fat bald TC climbed up on the roof, empty sacks in his fat stubby fist.
Then fat TC slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch,
But if fat Santa could do it, then so could TCGrinch.
TC with his blowing shoes got stuck only once, for a moment or two,
Then TCGrinch stuck his head from out the fireplace flue.

There all the Rookies stock Computers were setting all in a row.
"Those stock Comps," TC grinned, "are the first things to go!"

TC slithered and slunk, with a TC scowl must unpleasant.
TC went around the whole room, and took all the Rookies presents!
Then TC stuffed all the presents in bags, then TCGrinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then TC slunk to the Rookies stock Refrigerator. He took the stock Rookie feast!
He took the stock Rookie-Pudding! He took the Rookies Stock Roast Beast!
TC cleaned out the Refrigerator fast for such a fat bald bloke.
"What a bunch of punks, no diet Cokes!"

TC then stuffed all the Rookies stock food up the chimney with glee.
"And now!" grinned TCGrinch, "I'll stuff up the stock P-51D!"
TC grabed the stock P-51D, and started to shove,
When TC heard a sound, like the coo of a dove.
TC turned around fast, and TC saw the well developed Rookie Sue Lou,
Who TC reckoned was about 22.

Rookie Sue Lou who was 22, stared and then said to old TC
"Santy Clause, why? Why are you taking our stock P-51D?"

But, you know, that old TCGrinch was so smart and so slick!
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Well, my dear," the old fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's some RPM's on this plane that don't RPM on one side.
"I'll take it up to my Mod Shop, my dear.
"I'll Mod it up there, and then I'll bring it back here."

Well that lie fooled the shaply Rookie Sue Lou, and TC patted her chest ... err ... head,
And TC got her a margarita and sent that good looken' babe back to bed.
When Rookie Sue Lou had passed out from the margarita in the cup,
TC went to the chimney and stuffed the P-51D up!

Then the last thing that punk TC took was the stock log for the Rookies stock fire.
Then TC went up the chimney himself, the old bald fat liar!
On the Rookies stock computer desks TC left nothing but some old Stock cables and wire.

And the one drop of Aqua Velva that TC left in the house,
Was not even enough to splash on a Rookies mouse.
Then TCGrinch did the same to all the other Rookie houses
Not leaving enough Aqua Velva for any other of the Rookie mouses.

It was then a quarter past dawn, all the rookies still sleeping heavily,
All the Rookie Scum still a-snooze, when TC packed up his Chevy.
Ten thousand feet up! Up ... up ... up the side of Mt Prop-Hit!
Up TC drove, to the tip top to dump it!

"Muahahahaha!" said TC, ganoffing.
"Those scum Rookies are just finding no stock Christmas is coming.
"Their scum Rookie mouths will hang open for a minute or two,
"Then all hem scum Rookies in Rookie-Ville will cry BOO HOO HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned TCGrinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So TC paused, and TCGrinch put his fat stubby hand to his ear.
TCGrinch did hear a sound that was not, not softer,
And TC heard a horrible sound, the sound of a Stock Hawker!

TCGrinch stared down at Rookie-Ville, with his tired blood-shot eyes,
Then TC shook! What TC saw was a horrible surprise!
Every Rookie down in Rookie-Ville, the bald, old, fat, and tall,
Was flying CFS! Without any computers at all!
TC hadn't stopped Christmas from coming! It came!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!

TCGrinch, wearing his bowling shoes with his feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling. "How could it, pal, be so?"
"It came without Stock Hawkers, computers, and headphones!
"I came without joysticks, RW, Brunhost, and the Zone!"
TC puzzled until his puzzler was sore.
Then TCGrinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," TC thought, "doesn't come from a Computer store.."
"Maybe Christmas, perhaps ... means a little bit more!"

Then, suddenly, TC's Chevy Impala started to slide down Mt Prop-hit's side!
TC grabbed hold of the rear bumper, but it slid no matter how hard he tried.

Down in Rookie-Ville they say, something happened to TC this way.
TC's trigger finger grew three sizes that day!
When it happened that TC's trigger finger grew,
Suddenly he had the strength of Ten TCGrinches, plus two!

TCGrinch pulled on the load that was so very heavy,
And he saved his beloved '63 rainbow mother of pearl Chevy!
But, sadly, ... hehehehe ... as luck would have it!
All the Stock Rookies crap fell down the side of Mt Prop-Hit!

What? WHAT? Hey, pally, you didn't actually expect those Scum Rookies were going to have a merry Christmas, did you? MUAHAHAHAHA!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!

--TCGrinch

another oldie but a goodie! merry christmas to all

Merry CHRISTmas!