Com-Central.net

OK, I've just had the most abominable nasal-hair burning experience in the Pig Sty "gents". I'm not pointing any fingers, but I did see a pig wearing colonel's epaulettes waddling contentedly down the hall before I went in and this last episode is more than this little piggie can bear.

As Weapons Officer, I'm issueing a new SOP to all Wild Sau's to be implemented immediately (classifying this matter under the chemical weapons category for administrative reasons). These will be placed on every table in the Pig Sty Mess Hall and there will be no excuses. Add this to your malaria prophylaxis regimen.

You've been warned.

New Wild Sau Requirement - Click here

So instead of strawberry,corn and general slop poo smell......It will smell like rose covered poo...............Hmmmmm good idea

Well...dang. I don't know what to think now. As an artist, I simply have to be able to express myself, and this is never more true than when creating my traditional morning sculptures of disfavored in-laws and squad imposters of the past. Proper "ambience" for these steaming classics is critical in that regard, and fer cripessake I thought it was, y'know, appreciated in a creative light. Stinkin' up the place with Sty'le, as we say, truly…not smellin' it up with Lilacs and Petunias for cryinoutloud.

And I'm not really sure if adding another round of pills to the existing regimen is the answer....what next, flouridated water? There may be enough liver damage as-is what with the beaucoup truckloads of Molson's being shipped in by the ton, not to mention all those "IFR/Formation training flights" that seem to terminate, posthaste, at the Mountain Brewery. Don’t think it doesn’t show up on the ATC piggy’s radar screen. And come to think of it, do we even GET malaria here in the Pacific Northwest? In WINTER?? I thought the big thing was beaver bites and wolverine maulings. Ain't takin' another pill for those, neither.

Aside from calling an end to squad Taco night, which would be a really bad move for morale – mine especially - I'd like to suggest a more homeopathic remedy, such as, oh, I don’t know…..maybe opening a window??! I mean, if it bothers ya. Personally I can't smell what you're talkin’ about, it was fine when I went in there…skunk always smells himself first!

- JG300-Stoopy

I thought the big thing was beaver bites and wolverine maulings. Ain't takin' another pill for those, neither.

A nasty beaver bite can take a lot more to clear up than a few pills, lemme' tell ya'! But I imagine more than a couple of you don't need me to tell you that.

And Hey!...I'm all about expressionism and all....but it's the way it lingers, like a pyroclastic flow from Mt. St. Helens incinerating everything in it's path that I object to. I'm not saying you should neglect your sculpture, but could we perhaps contain it a little bit? I mean, it's gettin' WAY off the pedestal in there. In fact, maybe just a photograph and a quick courtesy flush (or two) would be the way to go?

Just sayin'....

Hmmmm. I'm mulling over the photography suggestion and I gotta say, that's not a half-bad idea at all. Certainly, many of the results have been stunningly lifelike - or at least compare very favorably to their real-world counterparts. So much so that it's even sparked a few conversations - although they're short ones, and always one-sided, it turns out. At any rate, the flushing is always done with some degree of mixed emotion...sadness to see the effort lost, yet with a certain feeling of relief somehow, as if a great weight has been jettisoned. And with a brimming confidence that with each new day comes another opportunity for wonder.

Yeah. I can get behind the idea of compromise there, and certainly if it's for the good of the Sty - so, as of now, select 8x10 glossies will be made up and available for viewing outside my office in the main hangar between 07:00 to 16:00, then relocated for display in the mess hall prior to evening chow up until lights-out. All interested JG300 members are encouraged to similarly participate as well, in the interest of furthering our esprit de corps!

Now as to those beaver bites, I agree it's a huge concern. Them things can get downright ornery, without even the slightest obvious provocation. Some type of protective garment, camouflage or even cloaking device might be in order. If only there were a way to tell their mood or disposition. I've had some success with just making sure they're fed all the time, but that’s a lotta work and backfires sometimes. Pretty doggone hard to figure those critters out!

One thing I do ask is - IF they're going to remain - please keep those pill containers SECURELY LIDDED at all times. We don't want the local Raccoon population getting into them and leaving fruit-scented "samples" around the grounds of the Pigsty. That'd ruin your day when rooting around for strawberries.

They got child security caps on those things, right?

- JG300-Stoopy

Yeah. I can get behind the idea of compromise there, and certainly if it's for the good of the Sty - so, as of now, select 8x10 glossies will be made up and available for viewing outside my office in the main hangar between 07:00 to 16:00, then relocated for display in the mess hall prior to evening chow up until lights-out. All interested JG300 members are encouraged to similarly participate as well, in the interest of furthering our esprit de corps!

I've only two words for that last capital idea....

SCREENSHOT CONTEST!

- JG300-Ascout

I've only two words for that last capital idea....

SCREENSHOT CONTEST!

Why do I envision a lot of # "2" votes????

Oh....Ascout....(ahem).....

From the "What Happens When I Take Whiff?" section of that website:

Does it really work? Yes, depending. Whiff works well for people who maintain fairly healthy eating habits to begin with. Whiff reduces poop odor across the board, but if you eat a lot of red meat, onions, or other smelly foods, your poop will still have some odor, just not as strong as before.

So it looks like compromise is in order, sorry....I'll get the 8 x 10's glossies taken and do a double-flush for ya's.

Very productive discussion anyways!

I wonder if they also might carry peach and lavender..
and if they have any extra strength I might get a supply for the wife too...

- JG300-Stoopy

Oh....Ascout....(ahem).....

From the "What Happens When I Take Whiff?" section of that website:

Does it really work? Yes, depending. Whiff works well for people who maintain fairly healthy eating habits to begin with. Whiff reduces poop odor across the board, but if you eat a lot of red meat, onions, or other smelly foods, your poop will still have some odor, just not as strong as before.

So it looks like compromise is in order, sorry....I'll get the 8 x 10's glossies taken and do a double-flush for ya's.

Very productive discussion anyways!

Well, I eat a lot of Mexican food, but if I double up on the dose, it might end up smelling like Chanel #5!

And I think Stoopy should enter some of his best work over at Ratemypoo.com
(which, I'm appalled to say, is an actual website...)