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sweets · ***Power User*** Offline Joined: Dec 18, 2005 Posts: 811

Not Raising Hogs!

TO: Honorable Secretary of Agriculture
Washington, D.C.
Dear Sir,
My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So, I want to go into the "not raising hogs" business next year.
What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with all governmental policies. I would prefer not to raise razorbacks, but if that is not a good breed not to raise, then I will just as gladly not raise Yorkshires or Durocs.
As I see it, the hardest part of this program will be in keeping an accurate inventory of how many hogs I haven't raised.
My friend, Peterson, is very joyful about the future of the business. He has been raising hogs for twenty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was $422 in 1968, until this year when he got your check for $1000 for not raising hogs.
If I get $1000 for not raising 50 hogs, will I get $2000 for not raising 100 hogs? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4000 hogs not raised, which will mean about $80,000 the first year. Then I can afford an airplane.
Now another thing, these hogs I will not raise will not eat 100,000 bushels of corn. I understand that you also pay farmers for not raising corn and wheat. Will I qualify for payments for not raising wheat and corn not to feed the 4000 hogs I am not going to raise?
Also, I am considering the "not milking cows" business, so send me any information you have on that too.
In view of these circumstances, you understand that I will be totally unemployed and plan to file for unemployment and food stamps.
Be assured you will have my vote in the coming election.
Patriotically Yours,
Mr. Smith

P.S. Would you please notify me when you plan to distribute more free cheese. Mr. Green

Shadow_Bshwackr · Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 3:30 pm Post subject: Re: Not Raising Hogs!

ROFL....great reading!

FF_StepChild · Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 8:48 pm Post subject: Re: Not Raising Hogs!

yeah, but I didn't read this... soooo

Shades · Posted: Tue Oct 24, 2006 9:04 pm Post subject: Re: Not Raising Hogs!

lololol

sweets · ***Power User*** Offline Joined: Dec 18, 2005 Posts: 811

Hi guys have a good day! Mr. Green

RCAF_Pickleboy · Posted: Thu Feb 08, 2007 4:33 am Post subject: Re: Not Raising Hogs!

I have looked into this... You need to act quickly before the "Not growing hog" loophole is closed... You can deduct the bushels of corn you "did not grow" however starting in 2007 you will have to offset this cost with the "negative hogpoo" ratio . My calculations will be that you will not save any money by making this bushell deduction...
Please let me know if you have miscalculated.

Pickleboy

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