Com-Central.net

SnwMan0 · Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 5:34 pm Post subject: Raising Boy's

Stole this from somone who probally stole it from somone else ... and so on and on and on ... But it's funny Wink

Raising Boys
For those with no children, this is totally hysterical! For those
who already have children past this age, this is hilarious. For those
who have children this age, this is not funny. For those who have children
nearing this age, this is a warning. For those who have not yet had
children, this is birth control
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft.
house 4 inches deep.
2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with
roller blades, they can ignite.
3. A 3-year old boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded
restaurant.
4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not
strong enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to
spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When
using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few
times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6. The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball
hit by a ceiling fan.
7. When you hear the toilet flush, and hear the words "uh oh", it's
already too late.
8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9. A six-year old boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though
a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old boy.
11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12. Super glue is forever.
13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still
can't walk on water.
14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do
not like ovens.
20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response time.
21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms
dizzy. It will, however, make cats dizzy.
22. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

CrashEd · Posted: Fri Apr 22, 2005 6:28 pm Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

- MR. SnwMan

80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid

LOL!! cought me thinking about making all that smoke.

Having raised three boys.I always got a kick out of what thay would do next. Mr. Green

RAF92_Moser · Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:19 am Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

LOL, that's too funny Snowman.

BTW nice Avatar.

JG300-Stoopy · Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 6:49 am Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

LMAO!!!! The wife and I have 3 boys under our belt too - the first two of them are stepsons for me technically, but I got 'em early enough to call them mine anyways...

One thing I can add (thanks to the middle son who is the classic "take everything apart" tinkerer)....a lawnmower WILL run with the muffler removed and with Dad's nitro-based R/C fuel in the tank - it just gets pretty damn hot and REALLY loud!!!!!

That kid is a tech sgt. in the air force working on F-15's now....... Rolling Eyes

Combat · ***Power User*** Offline Joined: Jan 06, 2005 Posts: 1035

LOL

I enjoyed that Snwy! lol

I have 2 boys with a girl smack in the middle.

11. Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.

Here is one to add about mocrowaves. Putting DVD rentals from Blockbuster in the microwave for 60 seconds will result in an amazing show of lights and a very cool looking explosion! And Blockbuster will not accept the return!

RAF92_Mustang · Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:24 am Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

- SnwMan0

10. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year
old boy.

So will steel bolts... Neutral

AARP-StepChild · Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2005 9:42 am Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

If you try to argue with a six year old... you have already lost

SnwMan0 · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 6:38 pm Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

4 and 20 have to be my personal Favorites... I have 2 girl's -- 8 and 6 ... But im truly worried about the 4 month old son though ...lol

{92}Warhawk · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 7:59 pm Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

- SnwMan0

80% of men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid.

LOL!!! The thought definitely crossed my mind!

Combat · ***Power User*** Offline Joined: Jan 06, 2005 Posts: 1035

Christmas Eve mass and my 6yr old son is acting up.

I grab his little arm and squeeze it real hard and say "Santa's gonna bring you a bag of rocks if you keep it up"

He's real quiet for like five minutes. Then he grabs my arm real hard and whispers in my ear "I asked him for rocks!"

LOL

RAF92_BattleHawk · Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 9:25 pm Post subject: Re: Raising Boy's

LOL being the youngest of my brother and i, i got to see those things happen and what the parents did to him after....spanking got to your room etc... but being my brothers idol ment doing them for myself 5 min after they cleaned up the mess...... especialy the microwave and metal things........ YIKES....between 3and 9 for my brother and being born to 9 for me...we went thru 10 microwaves. Shocked

Com-Central.net

Select Language

Login

`±`Recent Visitors

`±`User Info-big

Archive Revive
Username:
This is an archived topic - your reply will not be appended here. Instead, a new topic will be generated in the active forum. The new topic will provide a reference link to this archived topic.

Com-Central.net

Select Language

Login

±Recent Visitors

±User Info-big

`±`Recent Visitors

`±`User Info-big