Com-Central.net

Squirrel Goes on Rampage Injures 3


Being 72, I thought I had seen it all. Boy was I wrong. It was a beautiful Saturday, so I decided to take a walk. On my way there, I met up with some of my friends Clara and Sarah.

"Hey what have you guys been up to lately?" I asked.

"Oh not much, just the usual dealing with my pesky arthritis." Clara answered.

"Just playing random Bingo games you know." Sarah responded.
So there we were, just walking and talking about everything from favorite ice cream flavors to the new OC episode. All of a sudden, something shaped like an orange bullet came shooting across and landed on Clara.

" GET IT OFF ME! IT'S A MONSTER!"
Being Clara, she did exaggerate a little. It turned out to be a squirrel biting tightly onto Clara's skin. Like her skin wasn't wrinkled enough. Anyways, we were just 3 old ladies against one maniac squirrel. I knew I had to act quickly. Blood was starting to come out from her skin. I grabbed my purse and starting whacking it like one of those Whack-A Gopher games.

"Come on! Give it some edge!" Clara demanded.

I whacked as hard as my 72 year old muscles could do, which was about as much force a 2 year old could do. It seemed like I had the squirrel, but then it jumped onto my eye.

"HELP!" I desperately shouted.

I started whacking it with my purse again but hit myself. At this time, I saw out of my other eye that Sarah got a rock. I knew it was a bad idea from the start.

"I got that lil' devil don't worry. Sarah said getting ready to strike with a rock.

I was about to say to be careful, when she launched the rock. She must have been under the influence, because she missed completely. Sarah nailed me right in the head, and the squirrel jumped on to Sarah. Completely dazed, I felt a huge bump on my forehead. The whole time, people were staring giving us one of those ˜old people these days what can you say" looks. They did not know that this squirrel was way out of control.

At this time, Sarah realized that she had a gash on her arm due to the squirrel. She got so angry that she picked up her cane getting ready to slam it on the squirrel.

"The pain!" Clara said as she tried shaking off the squirrel off of her arms.

Out of nowhere, Sarah slammed her cane right in the squirrel. The squirrel lost his grip and fell the ground. Without wasting a second, Clara stomped onto the squirrel. The possessed squirrel finally lay motionless on the ground.

The next day, a newspaper article titled 3 Women Fight off One Squirrel appeared on the front page. Let's just say, that day can be filed under the please forget these days category.

- jerdev

new here so I'm trying to get a feel for things, We hate squirrels because of things like this

I saw out of my other eye that Sarah got a rock. I knew it was a bad idea from the start.